Reggie's Guestbook

Eric: I was so very sad to hear about Reggie. Her warmth and presence was so unusual that I felt I knew her well even though I only had the pleasure of meeting her a few times. Checking the ‘guestbook’ this evening I discovered that the note I sent via the earlier version of the guestbook seems to have gone astray so I wanted to make sure to add a recollection.

My most distinct memory of Reggie was when she and Ed and the three of you (Aaron was in Miami at the time…studying, of course!) came for dinner on 12th street. Alex was on a college tour, visiting NYU. Would that be almost eight years ago? I had known you and Barbara since University of Chicago days, but had never met Reggie. We had a riotously good time. It was a very spirited, high decibel evening, memorable in all respects. What struck me immediately about Reggie was her warmth and good humor. She was engaging, appreciative, curious and “present”. And, she had the rare trait claimed for many, but possessed by few of making you instantly feel as if you had known her for years. There was little of that cautious “getting to know you” awkwardness. She leapt right into the conversation, but without the self-centeredness that usually implies. It didn’t take long before she recognized and then pointed out that Ed and I shared a common obsession - a major character flaw according to some. We both loved “stuff”, and were incapable of tossing anything out. He had a house filled with “stuff” somewhere on the Thames. Was it Henley? I had a house filled with “stuff” in Woodstock, CT. We were kindred spirits. Ed was such a wonderful guy and accomplished scientist (ie rational) that I regularly used him as an example when I (pathetically) tried to defend my collecting/accumulating with Julia. It was my strongest argument. Anyway, it was a wonderful evening. We all had dinner several years later in Cambridge on Maple Avenue, and seeing Reggie again was like seeing an old friend even though it was only the second time we had met. She was traveling the world and as curious and engaging as ever. It was another wonderful evening. Reggie was a very special person, one of those people you meet several times, but who make a very deep impression. Hope to see you soon. Our love to you all – Jock & Julia

My life is better for having had Reggie in it.

We hardly knew Reggie and yet were drawn to her energy and love of life. Both Lenore and myself barely knew Reggie and feel we will miss her for our lifetimes.

An impressive life, lovingly presented. While I did not know your mother, it is clear how her values are reflected down a generation. When both parents are gone, we realize that their afterlife is most tangibly present in how their children live their lives and in our values and memories. I know I feel a warm glow when I find myself doing something as my Mom or Dad would have done it, or seeing some thread in the tapestry of history play out as they predicted.

And of course, our parents also live on in our memories, as long as we keep recalling them. Sort of like keeping the flowers fresh at the cemetery. My mother died after my father, at home of pancreatic cancer at 82, after months of rotating siblings that had one of us there at all times. So I have some inkling of what you are going through. Such a last parent's death is not a moment for a son, but a transition over many months,. And, I suspect it is still underway as the details of her life and legacies shift from being a living, changing presence in your life, into an historic mental framework in your mind, full of many rooms, both dark and sunny. The transition is only done when all rooms have been lit up and aired out.

Reggie was a lovely and lively person. We will miss her.